I cannot be the only one with this problem. So to all of you kindred souls out there, I offer a solution: playing card brooches.
This tutorial is specific to the face cards, but the same techniques/methods can be applied to the other cards as well. (Really, you can use the same methods for any image you'd like to make into a brooch.)
You will need an X-acto knife, scissors, Mod-Podge, a paint brush, a pencil, a hot glue gun and a pin back.
Step 1: Decide what part of the card you want to be made into your brooch and cut it out.
Step 2: Trace this cut-out shape (this will now be referred to as your card cut-out) onto a piece of thick paper board and onto a piece of patterned paper.
Step 3: After cutting out both your board cut-out and your patterned paper cut-out, glue all three of your cut-outs together. Make sure to keep the image side of the card cut-out facing up and the board cut-out sandwiched in between the card cut-out and the patterned paper cut-out. Press and let dry.
Step 5: Apply a layer of Mod-Podge all over the top/image side and let dry. Do the same for the under side/patterned paper side. Let dry and repeat 2 times for both sides.
Step 7: Using a hot-glue gun, attach a pin back to the patterned paper side of the brooch.
Step 8: Let dry & enjoy.
Congratulations, you just made an upcycled brooch!